One of the first 'a-ha' moments leading to me to the discovery of my Asperger's Syndrome happened after I had a conversation with a friend of mine at work a few years ago. I appreciate his directness/bluntness to this day. At the time, neither one of us had ever heard about Asperger's Syndrome.
One of the key diagnostic factors of determining whether or not a person has Asperger's Syndrome is their ability to participate in what is commonly called the "Reciprocating Conversation." They are notoriously bad at it and I will explain why throughout this post and perhaps other posts in the future. They are also not good at participating in "Small talk."
So back to the conversational example that I had in mind. I met this friend of mine where I worked at the time, a night shift job, and surprisingly I was the person who initiated our first conversation. I had heard through another co-worker that he was thinking about going to the University to study music, at the same university that I had recently graduated from. Of course, I was really nervous about meeting him at first, I am always nervous about meeting new people. It went well, and we are still friends to this day.
I digressed once again, but the conversation I had in mind happened after we had been friends for quite some time. It was the first time I was forced to look at myself in an objective way.
It went like this.
My friend: So I have been reading a lot about music recording techniques recently and I have learned so much about it. I am planning on setting up my own recording studio in the future. I think it would be really great.
Me: You know,...(pause, and I stare at the ceiling) I think for lunch today I will get a bacon cheddar burger.
My friend: Wait, what!? ... What the fuck is wrong with you?
Me: Nothing,.. what are you talking about?
My friend: You just completely ignored what I was talking about, I knew someone in high school that ADD and does exactly what you just did.
Me: What did I just do?
My friend: You just ignored what I said. That is really annoying, that guy at high school who had ADD was impossible to communicate with and you do exactly what he did.
Me: I am quite positive that I do not have ADD, how can you explain how I can be competitive with Master chess players if I had ADD, it's impossible. Sorry I hurt your feelings, I think setting up a recording studio would be a great idea. You seem very confident that you can make it work.
...
OK, so that is about all I need to write in order to illustrate my point. This conversation is a perfect example of the majority of my conversations. It is what Tony Attwood, author of "The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome" calls the nonreciprocating conversation. What 'should' happen in any conversation with one or even a few people is what is called a reciprocating conversation.
What happens is simple, here is an example.
"Hi, how are you?"
"Good, how are you?"
"Great, did you see the news last night?"
"Yes, that's awesome that Norway won another gold medal!"
"Yes that's great, aren't Norwegians the best athletes in the world?"
"Of course, they have such a small population and they more medals than even the United States?"
"USA sucks!"
"Yup."
This kind of small talk I am positive happens all the time during the Winter Olympics. Sorry USA. The difference between this conversation and my earlier conversation is the amount of reciprocal dialogue. Neurotypical people are very good a reciprocal conversation. People like me, as well as other people with an Autism Spectrum Disorder have a great deal of difficulty with reciprocating conversation.
In my example my friend, neither one of us knew what Asperger's Syndrome was at the time. When I found out that I have Asperger's Syndrome, he was the first friend I told. It started simply.
"Hey, you remember that conversation we had a few years ago and you thought I had Attention Deficit Disorder?"
"Yeah?"
"It's not ADD, it's something called Asperger's Syndrome"
"What?"
"The reason why it is difficult for me to a conversation with a balanced exchange of dialogue is because I have Asperger's Syndrome. It's an Autism Spectrum Disorder."
The conversation continued for a long time, I talked about some diagnostic tests I had taken online and how positive I was about how all the symptoms applied to me. He asked me if I had been diagnosed. I told him no. I am still not diagnosed, but there is a lot of evidence of people who know they have it who remain undiagnosed. A part of the purpose of writing this blog is I can discuss the process of how I get diagnosed. It was one of my resolutions this year, as well as to contribute to this blog consistently.
I will leave you some reference material to conclude this post. I will without a doubt come back to certain topics such as this topic in future. I do not want to make my blog entries too long. This one will be continued and will morph into a new topic, perhaps as early as next week.
http://www.amazon.com/Complete-Guide-Aspergers-Syndrome/dp/1843106698/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1325554841&sr=8-1
http://www.yourlittleprofessor.com/adhd.html
Just as a note, these two sources seem to conflict in terms of what is Asperger's Syndrome and what is Attention Deficit Disorder. "yourlittleprofessor.com" contends that Asperger's Syndrome and Attention Deficit Disorder are different. Tony Attwood contends that they exist at the same time. Specifically, if someone is diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome the person should be screened for ADD as well. Of those screened for ADD, about 75 percent have ADD as well.
I have talked to a social worker recently, she did not know much about Asperger's Syndrome, but did suggest that I did exhibit signs of ADD. I know what I am. I know about the 'yourlittleprofessor.com' blog post because of that meeting with the social worker. My belief is that if I am screened for ADD, it is possible that I may have that. However, I will repeat it again, if I am screened for ADD, and I do turn out to have it,... it is in 'addition' to Asperger's Syndrome. Not instead of Asperger's Syndrome.
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